


what i came here to do

by butchrenaryuugu



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Short Fenris (Dragon Age), canon-typical sex jokes, fenris and isabela have such a sweet friendship and they are just adorable, fenris processes his trauma, fuck you bioware they are all friends, hawke is a massive softie, just a bit of Angst, post-romance scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26182873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butchrenaryuugu/pseuds/butchrenaryuugu
Summary: Fenris has a hard time with emotional connections, especially of the romantic sort. Impulsively, he has gone to Juliet Hawke's house and stayed for part of the night, only to run away halfway through. He talks through things with Isabela, and eventually returns to Juliet to discuss an important piece of his past with her.
Relationships: Fenris & Isabela (Dragon Age), Fenris/Female Hawke
Kudos: 9





	what i came here to do

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning includes: brief discussion of emotional abuse and its effects, mild drinking. this fic is mainly a character study on fenris and his relationships with hawke and isabela.

After a night spent with Fenris, Juliet Hawke woke up to an empty and cold bed with no trace left by the elf. She fell asleep again, and in her sleep cuddled up to one of the many pillows in her plush bed. When the rogue awoke once more, her first stop was at her desk to continue the book she’d been reading for a while now. It was a collection of short stories on forbidden love, and the thought of it made her heart ache with longing for the night prior. However, before she reached the desk, she noticed a scrap of paper with writing on it-- in messy, childish scrawl, were the words ‘i’m sorry’. 

Juliet didn’t realize that she was crying until she saw tear stains appear on the paper. She quickly wiped her eyes, and went downstairs for breakfast as usual. She couldn’t bother with the book as of now; it reminded her too much of Fenris. She’d even let him read what he could of it, even if it was embarrassing for her.

All but a week went by with Fenris and Juliet having no contact whatsoever. The warrior was holed up in his mansion brooding, as Varric would say, and Juliet was busy answering letters. The sole person that Fenris had contact with was Isabela, who routinely would bring him food anyways. Some time after he had spent part of the night at the Hawke estate, Isabela had arrived at the elf’s stolen mansion with drinks and still-warm dinner from the Hanged Man. 

The Tevinter’s house was less in shambles than it had been in the years prior, with unwanted help from the witch and the writer. In their words, they were sick of visiting while corpses were still decaying in the foyer. It couldn’t hurt, Fenris supposed, to have others do the work if they really wished to. When Isabela knocked, he already guessed it would be her, and opened the door. As usual, the pirate was bright, but she always brought a little more of that light for the warrior, supposing he needed it more than most. 

“Fenris,” she greeted, her usual smirk growing even wider, “don’t worry, I can already tell it was a great night.” She invited herself inside, as was routine, and the elf walked with her to the dining table. 

The white-haired man took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “How do I say this… it was good, yes. But nothing happened.”

“What, nothing?” Isabela asked sarcastically, “you just sat there wordlessly?”

“Bela! We didn’t have sex,” Fenris snapped. “Sorry.”

Her face immediately dropped slightly. “Sorry about that.” She started to pour the drinks in somewhat of a peace offering.

“It’s fine,” he replied, shaking his head. “We’re both shy, and I felt weird about my body. I’m not entirely sure she’s ready either.”

“That happens! Just give it time,” she replied cheerfully, swatting at the air and passing a full wine glass to Fenris as she unpacked the food. An aroma of spice-- that, she added herself-- and hearty broth filled the room, and both its guests smiled at it.

“The cuddling was nice,” he remarked, smiling even more at the memory. “And-- I didn’t really think kissing could be nice before.” 

Isabela followed up with some teasing comment about tongue kissing, which Fenris clearly denied, admitting with a flushed face that there was some biting. Of course, with the Rivaini, teasing was never avoidable. He decided to just grin and bear it, or so it appeared. Her company was better than nothing, and better than the company of most people. She even cared enough to bring food, but so did Juliet. It wasn’t like Juliet was going to show up, though. She probably didn’t want to see him after his disappearing act, apology or not. She’d just continue to put up with him and act like nothing happened. It was all he could think about during dinner, which was shared mostly in silence with a few odd comments about the meal thrown in. By the time they were finished, the two of them were just slightly drunk and on their third glasses of wine. Isabela had offered to do the dishes, and Fenris couldn’t stand watching her do them alone. 

“Can I… have some advice, please?” Fenris requested, scratching the back of his neck as he went up to help the pirate wash everything up. 

“Of course, hun. I know you and your virginal anxiety.” 

“So…” He took another deep breath. “I left. When she fell asleep. And left a note, I just said sorry.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. I really wish I could go talk to her, but I’m afraid it’s already too late.”

“Too late for what? She isn’t dead or anything.”

“No, no, not that. Too late for her to forgive me.”

“Fenris, it’s been, what, a week? And I’ve seen how she looks at you, for all there is, you could be her ticket out of this hellish city.”

His heart skipped a beat, and he cracked a slight smile. “I guess so. I also know you’re planning to tell her that I have something planned, and to make sure there’s no way I can get out of it?”

“You know me so well,” Isabela said, finishing up her work with the dishes. “But if you promise to me that you’ll go to her yourself, I’ll get you whatever that Tevinter wine you like is.”

“Legally?” Fenris shot back.

“Oh, there’s no way, sweet thing.”

The next day, Fenris was back at the Hawke estate. He couldn’t help feeling strange when he was away from Juliet for too long, and he found himself going back to her as soon as he could. They’d been spending so much time together, he missed every little bit of her company. Even the reading lessons he found so grueling sometimes were better than being so alone, in his too-big mansion with nothing to do but try to read and train for fighting. 

He felt pathetic, having to crawl back to Juliet and apologize. Fenris picked out a loose shirt that Isabela gave to him, and a spare pair of footless tights he’d gotten from Merrill. Most of his clothes came from the two of them, as they knew where to find what he was comfortable wearing and what would fit him. He got changed quickly, deciding to take some leftover pastries to the estate, remembering that Juliet didn’t like wine much. She preferred sweeter things, and admittedly, Fenris only bought them because they reminded him of her. He awkwardly made his way through Hightown all the way to her house, which wasn’t really that far. He was clearly out of place in the nobles’ section of the city, as a fugitive elf, but nobody questioned it save for the gossiping rich people. The elf always did hate rich people. 

Juliet sat on her porch reading when Fenris arrived, never once noticing him until he stood above her. The rogue’s green eyes widened in fear and she flinched, only now realizing who was there. “Oh. Sorry,” she said sheepishly, almost tripping over her feet to open the door and let her companion inside, following him to her room where they usually talked.

“It’s fine. I brought these,” he replied, looking at his feet as he placed the box of pastries on the table. “I bought them for myself, but I don’t care for sweets. I thought you would appreciate them more.” 

Juliet smiled for a split second before pushing the box aside. “Thank you, Fen,” she said warmly, looking at the elf with starry eyes, no matter how ashamed he looked. 

“Hawke. N-no, Juliet. I need to get something off my chest, and once again, I’m sorry for leaving.” Fenris’s gaze was still downcast, and he played with the ends of his sleeves-- Isabela always insisted he roll them up, but they gave him something to fidget with.

“You don’t need to do anything, okay?”

“No, I do. It was wrong of me to leave, I… I don’t know how to explain it.”

Juliet silently took one of the elf’s hands, running her thumb over the calluses on his palms.

Fenris took a deep sigh, and finally looked up at Juliet. “I told you about Danarius. I didn’t say enough, but he and I were in a sort of relationship,” he explained. “Obviously, it was bad, but not in the way you think. It’s part of why I try not to stay close to anyone, and it’s why I left that night.” He paused again to think of what he was going to say, feeling a lump in his throat where it should have felt fine.  
“Danarius-- he-- we were too close. If I made a mistake, he never hurt me. He never hit me. I knew how disappointed he was, that was worse than any pain. I loved him, and I hated it.” There were tears in Fenris’s eyes by now. “And all I can do now is keep people far away, but not so far that they hate me. The disapproval-- it’s too much, Juliet. I don’t know if I can be in a relationship without being friends first, and I know that’s what we’ve been doing, but it feels like there’s something I’m missing.” 

The markings on the warrior’s body flared for a moment, then settled down slowly. “I understand if you don’t want me anymore. I can leave, if you wish for it.”

Juliet gave Fenris’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know what you’re missing either, but I’m here. I don’t want you to leave, and I still want you. There’s nothing that would change that,” she reassured, pulling the elf into a gentle hug. Tears streamed from his eyes, and for once he didn’t feel the need to wipe them away. He stayed there, face buried into her neck, even if he had to stand on the tips of his toes to reach. 

“Th-thank you,” he said as soon as the tears stopped, going back to sit down. “That’s all.”

Juliet played with the ends of her own sleeves, blushing lightly. “Fenris?”

“Yes?”

“Can we try again?” She asked, hope filling her eyes.

“That’s just what I came to do.”


End file.
